Category: Emotions
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Sunday
This Saturday, a (new) friend was going to meet me for coffee. Yesterday, to my desperation, she cancelled. She needed to run errands today. But she suggested and I agreed (lying through my teeth) that we are ok with meeting tomorrow. And I can’t stop thinking about how great our…
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Messy
Tonight is the Christmas Party organized by my workplace. Last year was a night to remember and we spoke about it for months after. This year, I am not there. In fact, I have not been at work for over two months, sick leave being my apparent new employment status…
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Why reparenting never felt right for us
Our previous blog post entitled Healing Collectively as an alternative to reparenting yourself in the context of DID went somewhat in details about our thoughts regarding the concept of reparenting ourselves. However, we found re-reading it that it didn’t clarify as much as we thought our rejecting of the concept…
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Nothing is right.
Tw programming Lately, nothing’s been right. Our whole world tripped and fell on its nose. Since the collapse, the air is thin, we can’t breathe right and our world can’t seem to find its balance. Everything is being dragged in every direction, swirling as if in a big bang. Gravity,…
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A world without pain
Tw for su*cidal ideat*on Last night, we cried about the “new stuff”. It was the first time we achieved this in months (emphasis on achievement). The despair was real, but so hard to get to, like a mirage I desperately tried to avoid and reach at the same time. The…
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Emergency therapy
Tw suic*dal ideation, pain / emotional distress Today we are waiting for emergency therapy. I am thankful for all the other times we were waiting for therapy while feeling like this and survived. It gives me a compass as to how I can expect this day to go. It’s gonna…
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Healing collectively, an alternative to re-parenting yourself in the context of DID
One of the most common ways healing from childhood trauma is represented is reparenting yourself / giving your inner child or in our case with DID our littles, middles and teens a loving and caring parent (mother or father) who would be the adult self. I will refer to littles,…
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Letter to love
TW for su*cidal ideat*on Dear sweet love, Why do you always come back for the save? Why do you always come back to me? Why? I wish it were possible for you to leave me alone to rot once and for all. But I feel like if you did do…
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Underbelly
Tw: programming, psychiatrist The collage was made first and the words came from the collage. Earlier today, I explained to a tiny 3 year old alter what loneliness means. I said to him: “it’s about lacking real connection with people. They are there and smile at you but you have…
System of Gardens & Flowers 